Re: this seemed appropos!

Subject: Re: this seemed appropos!
From: K. Weston (
Date: Thu Jan 13 2005 - 11:48:12 EST

thats a pretty hateful article....
what man wants to go out with someone he has nothing in common with ?
and with a women thats not his equal
bizarre... they must be out there though i suppose
my girlfriend should get on here she would love this....
she loves to get on the man bashing wagon...


   c[_] scuse the epenthesis
On 13 Jan 2005, at 16:25, Elizabeth Hinkle wrote:

This column by Maureen Dowd today in the NY Times seemed apropos to the
discussion - especially since this seems to
have branched away from music off into an argument about why men don't
want to have longterm relationships with women:

Men Just Want Mommy

Published: January 13, 2005

A few years ago at a White House Correspondents' dinner, I met a very
beautiful actress. Within moments, she blurted out: "I can't believe
I'm 46 and not married. Men only want to marry their personal
assistants or P.R. women."

I'd been noticing a trend along these lines, as famous and powerful men
took up with the young women whose job it was to tend to them and care
for them in some way: their secretaries, assistants, nannies, caterers,
flight attendants, researchers and fact-checkers.

Women in staff support are the new sirens because, as a guy I know put
it, they look upon the men they work for as "the moon, the sun and the
stars." It's all about orbiting, serving and salaaming their Sun Gods.

In all those great Tracy/Hepburn movies more than a half-century ago,
it was the snap and crackle of a romance between equals that was so
exciting. Moviemakers these days seem far more interested in the
soothing aura of romances between unequals.

In James Brooks's "Spanglish," Adam Sandler, as a Los Angeles chef,
falls for his hot Mexican maid. The maid, who cleans up after Mr.
Sandler without being able to speak English, is presented as the ideal
woman. The wife, played by Téa Leoni, is repellent: a jangly, yakking,
overachieving, overexercised, unfaithful, shallow she-monster who has
just lost her job with a commercial design firm. Picture Faye Dunaway
in "Network" if she'd had to stay home, or Glenn Close in "Fatal
Attraction" without the charm.

The same attraction of unequals animated Richard Curtis's "Love
Actually," a 2003 holiday hit. The witty and sophisticated British
prime minister, played by Hugh Grant, falls for the chubby girl who
wheels the tea and scones into his office. A businessman married to the
substantial Emma Thompson falls for his sultry secretary. A writer
falls for his maid, who speaks only Portuguese.

(I wonder if the trend in making maids who don't speak English heroines
is related to the trend of guys who like to watch Kelly Ripa in the
morning with the sound turned off?)

Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish
narcissists and objects of rejection, rather than affection.

As John Schwartz of The New York Times wrote recently, "Men would
rather marry their secretaries than their bosses, and evolution may be
to blame."

A new study by psychology researchers at the University of Michigan,
using college undergraduates, suggests that men going for long-term
relationships would rather marry women in subordinate jobs than women
who are supervisors.

As Dr. Stephanie Brown, the lead author of the study, summed it up for
reporters: "Powerful women are at a disadvantage in the marriage market
because men may prefer to marry less-accomplished women." Men think
that women with important jobs are more likely to cheat on them.

"The hypothesis," Dr. Brown said, "is that there are evolutionary
pressures on males to take steps to minimize the risk of raising
offspring that are not their own." Women, by contrast, did not show a
marked difference in their attraction to men who might work above or
below them. And men did not show a preference when it came to one-night

A second study, which was by researchers at four British universities
and reported last week, suggested that smart men with demanding jobs
would rather have old-fashioned wives, like their mums, than equals.
The study found that a high I.Q. hampers a woman's chance to get
married, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage
increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.;
for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.

So was the feminist movement some sort of cruel hoax? The more women
achieve, the less desirable they are? Women want to be in a
relationship with guys they can seriously talk to - unfortunately, a
lot of those guys want to be in relationships with women they don't
have to talk to.

I asked the actress and writer Carrie Fisher, on the East Coast to
promote her novel "The Best Awful," who confirmed that women who
challenge men are in trouble.

"I haven't dated in 12 million years," she said drily. "I gave up on
dating powerful men because they wanted to date women in the service
professions. So I decided to date guys in the service professions. But
then I found out that kings want to be treated like kings, and consorts
want to be treated like kings, too."

This archive was generated by hypermail 2b27 : Sat Dec 22 2007 - 01:46:05 EST